“The Seer of
Viceroy”
A
lazy tradesman is driven out by his wife, and bidden to make something of
himself. He comes upon a washerwoman who has lost seven milking cows in seven weeks.
He promises to restore the cows and heads off in search. As he walks he asks
the wind a favor.
“Mighty
wind, you travel far and wide. There is no land you do not touch. Help me find
these missing cows, and I shall be forever grateful.”
At
this humble request, the wind whispers in his ear the location of the missing
cows. He follows the whispers, finds the cows, and returns them to the
washerwoman, who rewards him with two bags of silver.
The
tradesman comes upon two servants of the King. A pitcher of gold has gone missing,
and he pledges to find it lest the servants be hanged. He spies a stream nearby,
and once more he begs assistance.
“Mighty
water, you travel far and wide. There is no crevice you cannot seek. Help me
find the missing pitcher of gold, and I shall be forever grateful.”
At this modest request, the water gurgles in
his ear the location of the missing pitcher. It has fallen deep within a well,
and he fishes it out, and returns it to the King, who rewards him with four
bags of silver.
On his journey home, he meets a sage who says,
“Tradesman, you are so very wise. Tell me what I hold in my hand. I wager six
bags of silver you cannot.”
The
tradesman places his own six bags of silver into the wager. He is eager to
double his fortune. He looks up at the sun, and once more asks for help.
“Mighty
sun, your rays reach far and wide. There is no object you have not seen. Help
me guess the item this sage conceals, and I shall be forever grateful.”
But
the sun does not speak to him. Clouds obscure it from sight. In his despair he
is unable to guess, and the sage collects his winnings, and tradesman is left
with nothing.
(Word Count: 348)
(Word Count: 348)
Brilliant. This is a wonderful homage to the traditional fairy tale structure, complete with the moral at the end. Fantastic piece!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I love traditional fables. Their simple messages really make a connection.
DeleteNicely done, Melanie!
ReplyDeleteNice! It does remind me of the old fables. However, I realized I could take it two ways. One, that he was only thinking of himself and the sun refused to help, or that there was really nothing in the trader's hand and so the sun could not show him something that was not there. ;) Pretty cool little tale.
ReplyDeleteI know! Either way he's FUBAR. . . and I can't imagine what his wife would do to him when he got home empty-handed and no better off. Would he tell her the truth? That he'd won and lost? Or lie? Either way, he'd be up a creek for sure.
DeleteAbsolutely elegant, Melanie! I love this line: "At this modest request, the water gurgles in his ear the location of the missing pitcher." IDK, this line struck me with a vivid image so clear that I don't need anything else to embellish it! Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Slipping into the Aesop mindset magically eradicated my addiction to adverbs. I'm trying to keep a bit of that for future writing.
DeleteI'm a recovering adverb junkie ;) Took a while for me to break the habit!
DeleteI like Daniel's theory - the sun couldn't show him what was not there. I didn't think of a fable! You've written it beautifully, so clean and rhythmical.
ReplyDeleteI love that. I always found fables so mysterious--that was part of the allure. On the first reading, you find one meaning that seems quite obvious. Yet on further readings, you find other meanings and layers, and eventually discover that this is the essence of fable--it means to each of us what it must. :)
DeleteBeautifully written, Melanie.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully written with a very folk-tale style. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI too love old fables. This also reads like a proverb. I agree with Meg McNulty, it's clean and has a great rhyme to it. Great work.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Very fairy-tale-fable-like. I really enjoyed the rhythm and repetition. Perhaps even the elements have their limitations ...
ReplyDeleteLovely! Thanks for entering :)
ReplyDeleteWell-paced fable, excellent! Thank you for entering :)
ReplyDelete